Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
