i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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