Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
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