I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
