Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
