It's like a parade of train wrecks.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
my poor anus
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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