I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
