Christians are straight up FREAKS
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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