Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
