You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Randomize
