What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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