barbara walters just said penis...
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
