I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
