Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
