wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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