the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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