Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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