i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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