no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
