I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
