Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
