it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
