the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
