I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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