She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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