I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
