You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Randomize
