I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
