Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Randomize
