Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
