Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
