Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
