You smell like stripper and shame
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
