Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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