i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Randomize
