How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
