Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
are you so shy because you have an std?
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
