He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
You were trust falling into bushes
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
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