Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
