Its about making memories worth repressing
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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