He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
