tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
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My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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