I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
