Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
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