fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
40s are totally the cure
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Randomize
