That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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