I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Randomize
