Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
