If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
