Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Randomize
