my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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